Jokes - Funny Jokes at Loudjokes.com

What’s black & blue, and doesn’t want to have sex???

A Rape Victim

Whats Green and Yellow and eats nuts??? Gonorrhea

What did the cannibal do after dumping his wife?…He wiped his ass!

What is the opposite of Christopher Reeve?………..Christopher WALKEN.

A reporter goes to an Indian camp looking for a story during slow news. She sees and indian with 1 feather on his head and approaches him asking, “Excuse me…..what does that feather on your head signify?” The indian replied, “Me fuck 1 squa.” She looks at him weird and just walks off until she comes to an indian with 5 head feathers. She asks again, “What do those feathers signify.” He replies, me fuck 5 squa.” A little annoyed and feeling she is getting stupid answers she decides to get to the bottom of this and approaches a higher authority. Comming to an indian with 50 head feathers she says, ” I am not getting a straight answer. Can you please tell me what the head feathers on your head signify?” The indian replies me fuck 50 squa.” Pissed off that she is getting no where she finally decides to go to the chief for a straight answer in which has 100 head feathers. Chief…many of your people are not being straight forward with me. What do the feathers on your head signify?” The chief replies, “Me fuck 100 squa.” What are squa she asks? “Oh you know……antilope, dog, cat, elephant, cow and so on. “Oh dear she says” “No we not fuck deer……..ass holes are too high and the bastards run too fast.”

Q: How did the Mexican mother know that her daughter was on her period?
A: She could taste the blood off her son’s penis!

Q: What did they little black boy say when he got diahrea?
A:”Ahh help im melting”

Note: im not racist or nothin….

Q: What did they little black boy say when he got diahrea?
A:”Ahh help im melting”

Note: im not racist or nothin….

A 6 year old kid comes home from school and sits down on the couch next 2 his dad, the dad asks how his first day of school went. The kid replied, “good, but all the kids kept talking about a vagina, and I’m not sure what that is.” The dad told the kid “well son, the vagina is a beautiful thing, before sex it looks like a beautiful rose in bloom,” the kid asked “well what does it looks like after sex?” the dad proceeded to tell him, “well son, have ever seen a bulldog eat mayonaise?”

Q.What is red, slimy and crawls up your leg….?

A. A homesick abortion.

(I myself think this in quite poor taste, which you will all probably say…Did not know if had been included before.Sorry if it offends anyone).