Working at a theater box-office ticket window poses many challenges in dealing with people.
When a disgruntled customer at a window exclaimed, “No Tickets?” What do you mean NO TICKETS?”
The women waiting on him smiled sweeting. “I’m terribly sorry, sir,” she replied. “Which word didn’t you understand?”
A normally sweet Great Dane Psil has one quirk: she hates United Parcel Service drivers.
While walk Psil one day, around the corner of a house came a UPS man.
Struggling to keep hold of Psil, the owner tried to ease the situation said, “As you can see, he just loves UPS men.”
“Don’t you feed her anything else?” he responded
One student fell into a cycle of classes, studying, working and sleeping.
Didn’t realize how long he had neglected writing home until he received the following note:
“Dear Son, Your mother and I enjoyed your last letter. Of course, we were much younger then, and more impressionable. Love, Dad.”
Phone Company Gives Something for Nothing
Dear Ann,
I think I can top the person who wrote complaining about the idiocy of the phone company. Talk about garbage in, garbage out!
When AT&T split with Bell, we had three phones in our house. The equipment belonged to Ma Bell and the service belonged to AT&T. After we returned all the phone equipment to Ma Bell, we received a bill for $0.00. A few weeks later, we received a check for $5 and a note thanking us. Several months later, we received another computerized bill for $0.00. We called again, got nowhere, so we sent another check for $0.00. A few weeks later we received another $5 refund with the same thank you.
This went on every three months for two years. Now we are down to once a year and have given up trying to straighten this out. We just cash the $5 and forget about it.
– Linda K. R. in California
This last weekend I was reminded at the pace we are converting to metric. I was on I-75 in Ohio when I saw a sign that said:
All signs metric
Next 20 miles
According to “The Australian,” an airliner recently encountered severe vibration in flight.
The captain decided to make an emergency landing, and switched on the seat belt sign.
The vibration stopped immediately.
A passenger emerged from a lavatory and explained that he had been jogging in place inside.
The “Environmental Engineering News” published some rather sobering information about punishment for drunk driving convictions in other countries.
In Australia, the names of drunk drivers are printed in newspapers under the caption, “He’s drunk and in jail.”
In Malaysia the driver is jailed and, if married, the spouse is jailed.
In the United Kingdom, Finland and Sweden there’s an automatic jail term of one year.
In Turkey, drunk drivers are driven twenty miles out of town and forced to walk back ten miles.
In Bulgaria, a second drunk-driving conviction results in capital punishment.
In El Salvador, your first offense is your last — execution by firing squad.
From the August Road & Track.
Shortly after the 911 emergency number became available, an elderly and quite ill lady appeared in a Rochester hospital emergency room, having driven herself to the hospital and barely managing to stagger in from the parking lot. The horrified nurse said, ‘Why didn’t you call the 911 number and get an ambulance?’
The lady said, ‘My phone doesn’t have an eleven
On Saturday last, I had dinner at a local Chinese restaurant. My fortune read:
“You will gain admiration from your pears.”
Comice? Bartlett? Canned? I don’t grow or eat them, anyway
From the Echoes-Sentines [?], Somerset County, NJ, Sept. 17, 1987:
GILLETTE RESIDENT IS ARRESTED AFTER SHOOTING HIS COMPUTER
PASSAIC TWP. — A Gillette man was arrested at his home last Thursday night after he fired eight bullets at his home computer, according to police.
The man, Michael A. Case, 35, of 64 Summit Ave., was arrested shortly after 11 p.m., at his house, when police said they received a report that shots were fired. They arrived at the home to find a .44 Magnum automatic handgun and a shot-up IBM personal computer with a Princeton Graphics System monitor.
The monitor screen was blown out by the blasts and its inner workings were visible, Lt. Donald Van Tassel said on Monday. The computer, which had bullet holes in its hardware, was hit four times while four more bullet holes were found in various areas next to the computer, Van Tassel said.
“The only thing he (Case) said was that he was mad at his computer so he shot it,” Van Tassel said.
The handgun, which the lieutenant identified as an Israeli Arms Desert Eagle .44, has “a lot of firepower,” he said. “It’s a big gun.” Case used hollow-point, or dum-dum, bullets, he added.
Case was surprised when police arrested him because he didn’t think he was breaking the law, Van Tassel said. “He couldn’t understand why he couldn’t shoot his own computer in his own home,” Van Tassel said.
Case was charged with recklessly creating a risk and using a firearm against the property of another, because the house is reportedly owned by a relative. The walls were also damaged by the shots, according to police.
He was also charged with unlawful posession of a firearm without a permit, and with possession of illegal bullets, police said.
In addition, Case was issued to summonses, for discharging a weapon in a restricted area and for discharging a single-projectile weapon, police said.
Case spent early Friday morning in the Morris County Jail and was released later in the day on $2,500 bail, according to police.
A Municipal Court appearance is scheduled for today, Sept. 1