Notice of a Class Action Suit
I was wondering if anyone else is having a problem with the Carbon Based Unit, Model # Homo Sapiens.
The following is a list of constant problems:
- A constant whining whenever the brain disengages after debating the virtues of the automobile selection process
- Overheats when the air/gray matter ratio exceeds rational equilibrium in regard to ones own responsibility to auto maintenance
- When mouth is placed in gear, makes loud noise whilst insulting the the auto professional. (see previous item)
- Software controlling the “computer” is defective..wild random responses to input stimuli (i.e. “Have you checked the oil..?”)
- Motor controls are sluggish (i.e. response to traffic light stimuli and expected law abiding response)
- Mouth continues to run long after brain has shut off
- Touts superior performance, but functions do not perform as advertised
- Lifetime warranty is a misnomer. Cannot get problems fixed under any policy
- Model not eligible for trade in or replacement under Lemon Law
I have attempted to contact the manufacturer of this model regarding these issues, but I have received no response. I can only assume that this creator does not stand by the product in question.
Therefore, I am directing my attorney to file a Class Action suit on behalf of myself and my family. The basis for this suit is that the manufacturer did knowingly produce a defective product.
Interested parties make contact my attorney:
U. B. Taken
1-800-Get-Away
or write:
7734 Geton Withit Ave.
Getalife, Hades 12345-678